Mermaid ATTACK

July 1st, 2009

She's coming through the window!

Boo!

June 15th, 2009

So spooky

Skull

June 2nd, 2009

Egg headdddddd

I’m holding it on a fork, which is why it looks weird.

Alistair the Vampire: An Excerpt

May 18th, 2009

Taking a break from the food art for a moment… This is an excerpt from a longer piece I’m writing about a vampire named Alistair.

It had been a long day (night) and Alistair was unwinding with a glass of wine. Because he couldn’t digest anything other than blood, he was just taking sips before spitting them out. At first he spat them in arcs onto the floor, but after a while he got tired and just drizzled them down the front of his blouse. “Cheers, world,” he said, raising his glass, wobbling it in the darkness. “Cheers to being a fucking horrible place to live.” He then threw the glass to the floor, where it shattered into hundreds of glittering shards, each of which reflected the television’s eerie blue-white glow. “Fuck you, fucking Celtics,” Alistair slurred. “Fuck! Mother fuckaaar!” He threw the remote at the screen, but it was a weak throw and the remote just bounced off. “I’m sorry,” Alistair sobbed, putting his hand over his face. “I’m sorry. It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s fair. I know it’s fair. I just fucking—fuck. Fuuu—huuuck!!!!” he bellowed upward, ripping off his ascot with his long fingernails, tearing open his shirt and falling to his knees. The TV’s pale light glinted on his fangs as Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and the rest of the Celtics hugged their rivals good-naturedly. When Alistair collected himself, he returned his focus to the screen and was, once again, overwhelmed by the amazing sportsmanship his preferred basketball team showed its opponents. “God they’re gentlemanly,” he whispered, his voice ragged. Then he shut off the TV with his remote and climbed solemnly into his coffin.

Cabbage Bra

April 14th, 2009

Let me slip into something more comfortable

Cabbage Bra

Narwhal!

April 6th, 2009

Narwhal!

Narwhal!

Alien in my closet!

March 31st, 2009

It has these horrible fingers and it’s trying to get out, I think!

alien in my closet!

Giddyup!

March 22nd, 2009

Carrot horse

Teef

March 16th, 2009

Tooth

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Mantis

March 10th, 2009

Are You There, God? It's Me, Mantis