Mystery Commercial, Please Help
Monday, February 11th, 2008I saw an amazing commercial at the gym today, and if anyone knows what it is, please tell me so I can look it up. It goes roughly like this:
Roll camera: A man and a woman are in a giant, beautiful kitchen filled with warm light and lots of multi-colored dishes. They are both about 55, sunny, gentle, and attractive, and they are slowly chopping vegetables, so slowly that they are basically doing nothing.
He: I always said that I couldn’t wait for the time when we could both just spend a lot of time making meals together.
She: You are a man of your word. (Close-up of her face, she is smiling at his face and she is blonde.)
He: (Close up of his face, he bares his snow white, fangy teeth, camera lingers for several seconds, he looks like a rapist middle-aged Sweet Valley High principal trapped in a zombie teenager’s brain. Camera continues to linger. He is smiling.)
She: I love doing things together now that our children are no longer in the home or at college.
He: Yes. I love helping to cook. (Close-up of his face, he bares his snow white, fangy teeth, camera lingers for a few seconds, he looks like a confused rapist middle-aged Sweet Valley High principal trapped in a zombie teenager’s brain. He is smiling.)
She: It is so helpful now that I don’t have to plan out meal plans by myself.
He: Ha ha ha, yes.
She: (She smiles at his face, her crow’s feet wrinkles around her eyes are beautiful and mature.)
He: (Same as before.)
She: Speaking of things we no longer have to worry about (she puts down her knife), isn’t it time we start thinking about protecting our finances (or some other term/thing that is real for people but means nothing to me and I cannot remember because I am 14)?
He: But we just stopped paying for our three children to attend college and we just finished paying the college bills for the colleges that they went to. (Close up of his face frowning very purely, looks like he will murder her.)
She: I know, but now’s as good a time as any to think about protecting our future. I don’t want to have to settle for (something, something, things about life I don’t understand yet).
He: I guess so. (Stares at the chopping board, mouth hangs open, revealing sad fangs, which are beautifully, devastatingly white. Looks up at her emptily. Almost murders her, but then–)
She: Don’t you think? (Takes inedibly large hunks of broccoli from her red chopping board and places them slowly inside an orange colander.)
He: Yes.
(Then there’s plain text across the screen from whichever company made this commercial, I’m pretty sure it’s a local New York company. If anyone recognizes this, please let me know.)
(They did not look like these people.)