Archive for the ‘can't tell if someone is making fun of me’ Category

Brushing up on emoticonnery

Monday, July 16th, 2007

This is the best week of my life!

One, because I just had a baby! (I know, it was one of those weird ones that I didn’t see coming until I was like, Hello! What’s going on here?! I couldn’t think of anything off the top of my head so I named it Edith.)

And TWO, because I have my first teenage stalker! And I mean that in the best way because I love teenagers (just as friendz, often) and everything I’ve ever gotten in this world I got through stalking. For instance, tetanus. If you want proof that I have a teenage stalker, please visit the comments section of “Oh my god, GET THAT MACHINE AWAY FROM ME,” in which 15-year-old “Anonymous” threatens to fly from Alaska to America to come bludgeon me to death with her parents’ corpses. Or it could be a boy. You can never tell with these crazy teenagers, they all look alike with their slanty eyes.

And then yesterday “Anonymous” revealed herself to be “A.B.” and said she was coming to New York to live in my house and marry David Schwimmer and that she wants me to be her maid of honor. YES!!!! But DON’T make me wear a busted dress, A.B., you fat bitch.

I mean that playfully.

No but seriously–come visit. I have a lot of cereal.

this is my new friend

Posted in can't tell if someone is making fun of me, delight, teenagers, the best day of my life | 4 Comments »

funky

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

Yesterday I was walking down Sterling Pl. to go move my car when I realized that someone behind me was yelling at me. “Funky boots! You got some funky boots!” I turned around and there was a really old homeless woman on crutches with a lot of missing teeth and one leg, smiling at me. “You got a funky look; I like your look!” she yelled. I smiled at her and said thank you and waved, then kept walking. “You got a funky walk, too!” she yelled, and then started laughing really hard. I turned around again–she was about 20 feet behind me–and nodded and waved again. I kept walking and she kept laughing.

Posted in can't tell if someone is making fun of me, funky | 1 Comment »