Being a better person
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007I spend a lot of time reading WikiHows, which are little guides of how to do things like apply grout or beat insomnia. Here are excerpts from some of my favorites from the ‘Personal Care & Style‘ section:
“How to Act High Class”
14. Get a better job. Or sell things on eBay.
15. Clean any dead insects off your license plate and wipe away any bird manure.
* * * *
“How to Be Super Cool and Popular in 6th Grade”
1. Don’t wear revealing clothes, because that will follow you to high school and people will call you names.
2. Have cool gadgets so you’re not considered poor. Get a laptop, digital camera, ipod, and cell phone. Get a yo-yo.
3. Do well in school. People will think you are perfect if you’re popular and smart.
8. Don’t worry about having a disability. I had to get a hearing aid and other people thought it was cool.
* * * *
Tricky, but I have achieved this:
“How To Not Have Any Flaws”
1. Physically: Look Great
2. Socially: Be a Great Person
* * * *
And finally:
“How To Tell the Difference Between Slutty and Sexy”
2. Ask yourself when you look in the mirror: Do I look “Slutty” or “Sexy”?