Breast Makeup
I
subscribe to a daily newsletter about health, diets and makeup. It’s great, it’s ridiculous, the colors are super pretty, I love it, whatever! Anyway, today their newsletter was about a makeup package called My Beautiful Breasts Kit, which is a makeup kit, for your breasts. For drawing on your breasts with highlighters, shading, and something called a bust stain. Adult women. Unbelievable. Makes me wonder if there’s something similar for guys, like “Draw Your Dick,” which would come with a marker for drawing your dick like three inches higher or something. “What? It’s totally natural—that part just stays flat.” Anyway, unbelievable. Unbelievable across the board. What a world!
September 17th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Aren’t breasts, in and of themselves, sexy enough just by being breasts? Well, admittedly, sometimes I put a little glitter on them. But that’s because I like glitter. A lot. Glitter on your dick? Not advised.
September 17th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Insane! I’d think the whole point of make-up-ing your breast would be to entice some man to want to see them further or touch them. And I cannot imagine it going over well if dude got a mouthful of make-up the first time he got you naked.
Then again there are probably some people who think face make-up is crazy.
September 17th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
It’s okay because all style is trickery and witchcraft and rubber bands. And it ehical because “a portion of all profits from the My Beautiful Breast kit goes to the Making Memories Breast Cancer Foundation.” It’s for ladies with removed breasts to try to fool others that she’s not just a half-woman any more. Do you see?!
September 17th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
I didn’t know that a part of the proceeds went to a breast cancer foundation, which is of course a terrific and appropriate cause, and thank you for pointing it out. I DO, however, think that painting your breasts to look bigger is a step or three more ridiculous than wearing lipstick or Spanx, BUT I understand why that’s a difficult line to draw. I appreciate your comment because it makes a fair point, but also—drawing on your boobs! I can’t get past it.
September 18th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Well, Edith, you’ve obviously never known the shame and humiliation of being the only one in the locker room with underdeveloped breasts. Unfortunately, it’s a pain I know all too well. That’s why I’m going to order this kit — and keep using it till my man boobs come in.
September 18th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Nope, I always make sure I’ve got the biggest breasts in the locker room, and if I don’t, I just leave!
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:25 pm
My sister uses this kit and whenever she nurses her baby he winds up looking like a tiny Tammy Faye Bakker. That’s not true I don’t know why I said that.
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I knew they were gonna come out with paint-on cleavage! The same company also has a product called Abs in a Box that allows you to paint on abs.
October 28th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Hello from Philippines!
Can I quote a post in your blog with the link to you?
October 29th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Sure! Thanks!