Office

A very short story.

I was washing my mug in the office kitchen when I heard someone come in behind me. I turned around and saw it was my friend Christina. She’s not really my friend, but she’s like an office friend. “Hey Christina, how’s it going?” I said.

“Oh, I’m good,” she said. “Tired.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m really tired, too.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m like, exhausted.”

“No kidding,” I said. “I’m totally drifting off at my desk.”

“Tell me about it. I’m like, about to fall over, literally.”

“Yeah, I was going to lie down on the floor right now,” I said.

“Oh yeah? I was actually already planning to do that,” she said as she lowered herself to the ground in front of the refrigerator.

I lowered myself down too, and shut my eyes. “Oh, this feels so good, I’m going to fall asleep, like, immediately.”

“Me too. I’m so tired I might never wake up.”

“Yeah, I was about to say—I bet I’ll die in my sleep.”

“I’ll definitely die—I drank poison earlier.”

“I drank poison, too,” I said.

Then we drifted into silence, and we both died in our sleep, at the office.

18 Responses to “Office”

  1. Waldo Says:

    Aw, I love happy endings!

  2. edith Says:

    :)

  3. Cathy Says:

    MONDAYS!!!!!!!

  4. marie Says:

    gosh, edith - thank you for these stories.

  5. molly Says:

    i love this one

  6. callum Says:

    oh man.. i could really go some of that office poison right about now..

  7. edith Says:

    Thanks, you guys! I’m so glad you like it/them!!!

  8. amy g koss Says:

    Now THAT was fun!

  9. Patrick M Says:

    Confused if this happens before or after Jim and Pam get married but otherwise good job

  10. George K. Says:

    “And we died happily ever after…”

    The Bucket was about God? 911 is God? The person in the bucket was Jesus? You don’t have answer that, haha. Or 911 is the people that have all the money(publisher), the person in the bucket is the writer/artist, and the blood is the work. Something like that…

  11. Tim Says:

    This is one of my favorites. It’s sort of embarrassing to laugh out loud in public, but the other people in the library are totally missing out. Can you please write one about me? I grew up on a farm.

  12. OF NOTE: Grumpy, Lonely, Oldie, Sleepy (11.6.09) « Iconowatch Says:

    […] glimpse into competition culture at the office. This entry was written by Iconoculture, posted on November 6, 2009 at 9:04 am, filed under […]

  13. Laurelle Says:

    LOL!! Great short story!

  14. Max Kreutzer Says:

    I laugh at all of your stories. This one makes me laugh every time I read it because I work literally three feet from the coffee machine and I hear it every day. I’m sorry but I had to copy your idea. Don’t worry they won’t be half as funny as yours.

  15. ck Says:

    DAMN this made me miss my old job!

    You are a fantastic writer.

  16. Mary Says:

    I want to marry your stories. I love them bad.

  17. sleeeep « bedbugs are mini vampires Says:

    […] last night, i was complaining to my coworker how i keep falling asleep at my desk.  then i read this and sent it to her.  goddamn, im a […]

  18. Mary: A Literary Quarterly » Blog Archive » Edith Zimmerman: The Mary Interview Says:

    […] modern-day every(wo)men.   My personal favorite, called “Office,” can be found here and pokes fun at the common small talk people make at work.   To get a sense of her style, the […]

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