The Hot Guy
A very short story.
I was at a party when this super-hot guy came up to me. He was like seven feet tall with retardedly huge muscles and super-tight clothes. Inwardly, I was like “Oh my god!” but outwardly I was cool.
“Excuse me, miss,” he said, smiling. “Can I buy you a drink?”
“Totally!” I said. “What kind of drink can I get?”
“Uh, whatever you want,” he said.
“I’ll have four whiskeys in one glass,” I said to the bartender.
“Whoa,” the guy said.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m not going to drink it all.”
“Huh?” the guy said, giving me a quizzical look.
I laughed. “It’s for washing out my cuts,” I said, picking up the glass and heading toward the bathroom. “Be right back!” Omg I was going to have a boyfriend finally!
November 5th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
hahaha!
and then.. ewww..
November 6th, 2009 at 7:56 am
These stories are creepy. In a good kind of way!
November 6th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
finally!
November 7th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Omg I LOLed reading this! The last para really brings it home. Also forwarded to several people who each thought it was amazing. Keep em coming!
November 7th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
can we scratch the word “retardedly” there’s got to be something more fittting
November 7th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Hi Lori
I know what you mean—usually I’m not a big fan of that word, either, but I couldn’t think of anything that fit better with the character’s dum-dum voice. I know I’m not some big shot novelist or anything, so I realize I sound a little ridiculous talking about my “characters”, but … yeah. Anyway, it’s definitely not some exciting new word I’m going to pepper all my stories with from here on out. And hopefully I haven’t driven you away!
Thank you for reading and commenting! I appreciate it!
November 7th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
These truly just get better and better.
November 8th, 2009 at 4:20 am
I love this story retardedly much.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I think retardedly is an exceptional word. And I went to FOUR different universities.
November 12th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
i am retardedly awaiting the next slice of zimmerman!
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:41 pm
This one is my new favorite!
December 11th, 2009 at 10:55 am
This is so good.