Flirting With Guys

A very short story.

“So, do you come here often?” he asked, leaning toward me with a twinkle in his eye. We had been exchanging flirtatious glances across the bar all night—finally he was making a move.

“Yes,” I said, with a playful smile.

“Oh really?” he said.

“Yup, I come here every day, actually,” I said. “On weekdays they open at five, so I get here fifteen minutes before that to wait outside, and then on weekends they open at noon, so I get here a lot earlier.”

“Huh,” he said, giving me a funny smile. “You really do come here often, I guess.”

“Yup, there’s no one else who comes here as much as me—you can ask the manager. They even let me keep stuff in the bathroom.”

“Ah,” he said, and looked around the room.

“One time I fell down over there and hit my head,” I said, pointing to a corner in the bar, “but no one noticed so I even got to stay here overnight.”

16 Responses to “Flirting With Guys”

  1. callum Says:

    haha.. where does one meet womens like this? they all sound perfect!

  2. Newland Says:

    Someone important (Zac Efron, I think) once said that I—I think he meant people generally, but I really took it to heart—should do something everyday that scares me.

    Although it hasn’t always been easy, I’ve followed his advice; and each new dawn has brought with it the nearly unbearable recognition that one of my deepest fears would be realized that day. I suppose I’ve learned something about myself and my fears along the way but, honestly, it’s hard to recall amid all the sobbing and new pants.

    But enough about me, I just wanted to let you know that I spent my entire workday reading your blog yesterday—and I think I love you.

  3. edith Says:

    Newland!!!!!

    Thank you for reading my blog, and thank you for leaving this very wise and great comment!

  4. Chris Says:

    flirting with guys was something that alluded me before! but these past few posts have highlighted women that are my new goddesses/examples!

  5. Tulletilsynet Says:

    The very wise and great part was where he read your blog at work all day, right? Amid all the pants.

  6. Mary: A Literary Quarterly » Blog Archive » Edith Zimmerman: The Mary Interview Says:

    […] pokes fun at the common small talk people make at work.   To get a sense of her style, the story “Flirting With Guys” does a good job distilling her common structure and theme down to its […]

  7. callum Says:

    awww.. that article was so sweet! three cheers for zimmerman!

  8. edith Says:

    Thanks, Callum! Yeah, I was nervous that I’d sound like a dummy, but they were so nice, and the whole thing was just really pleasant. Thank you for reading!!

  9. Hamilton Says:

    Haha.

    So did they go out?

  10. callum Says:

    come for the funny.. stay for the personal touch!

  11. Matthew Perpetua Says:

    This is a terrific post!

  12. ecigarettes Says:

    funny stuff.

  13. David Says:

    It’s been so long! Almost a month! I’m slowly dying from an Edith Zimmerman short story deficiency.

  14. Matt Powers Says:

    Loved it!!!

  15. Colin Lowenberg Says:

    Again From Male Perspective by Colin Lowenberg

    “So, do you come here often?” I asked, leaning toward her with an eyebrow arched. I had been checking her out from across the bar all night—finally I had the guts to talk to her.

    “Yes,” she said, with an innocent smile.

    “Oh really?” I said hoping for a little more than a one-word response.

    “Yup, …………. actually,” she said. “On weekdays… I wait outside… on weekends… I get here earlier.”

    “Huh,” I said, giving her another popped eyebrow with a smile. “You really do come here often, I guess.” I honestly don’t know what she just said.

    “Yup… ask the manager… in the bathroom.”

    “Ah,” I said, and looked around the room for the bathroom - I drank too much beer.

    “One time I… hit my head,” she said, pointing to a corner in the bar, “but… got to stay here overnight.”

  16. Colin Lowenberg Says:

    Again From Male Perspective by Colin Lowenberg

    “So, do you come here often?” I asked, leaning toward her with an eyebrow arched. I had been checking her out from across the bar all night—finally I had the guts to talk to her.

    “Yes,” she said, with an innocent smile.

    “Oh really?” I said hoping for a little more than a one-word response.

    “Yup, …………. actually,” she said. “On weekdays… I wait outside… on weekends… I get here earlier.”

    “Huh,” I said, giving her another popped eyebrow with a smile. “You really do come here often, I guess.” I honestly don’t know what she just said.

    “Yup… ask the manager… in the bathroom.”

    “Ah,” I said, and looked around the room for the bathroom - I drank too much beer.

    “One time I… hit my head,” she said, pointing to a corner in the bar, “… want to stay overnight?”

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